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Do Expectations ruin relationships?

Unconditional love is something we all receive from our mothers when we are kids. In all the cultures of the world, mothers are regarded next to God. As a kid grows up receiving the gift of unconditional love from his mother, it gets registered in his subconscious to be the purest form of love where there is lot of give and almost no take. But growing up with the same desire to get unconditional love from the one you make loving relationship with is something that can be quite burdensome and sometimes, suffocating for the other partner. For ages, there have been opinions expressed on the nature of love to be given to one’s lover. In poems, a love-sick man craves for love where no bartering is involved. In novels, a lover is depicted as someone giving love but not expecting anything in return. But is it really possible for someone to be involved in unconditional form of love relationship? Modern psychology and most of the sociologists unanimously agree that relationships can get sour in today’s times if one of the partners ends up giving only and doesn’t get anything in return. The emotional reciprocation or exchange is quite normal between couples as they get involved with each other. Things go downhill when one of the partners is emotionally exposing him or her and the other doesn’t exchange the emotions. The former will end up having negative feelings that might be manifested in the form of anxiety, nervousness and sometimes, aggression.

One must understand that we can be undemanding as far as finances or materialistic possessions are concerned, but emotional exchange is something which is very much sought by both the partners. It is a two way process where the one giving love expects the emotional love and nurture in return. It is quite impractical for one to expect his partner to be showering him with love without seeking the same in return. The one not at the receiving end of love is bound to have negative feelings at the end, causing heartbreak and anguish. It is quite important for couples to indulge in healthy discussions about each other’s emotional needs and whether they are getting fulfilled or not. If a partner feels inadequate because of lack of emotional intelligence of the other partner, things must be discussed or a professional help can be sought.

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